Friday, April 13, 2012
Something has been bothering me for a while, but it was hard for me to put into words.
I'm not the best at communication, my brain has a tendency to run much faster than my mouth does, but I feel like this is something I need to try to express because it it honestly hurts me on such a deep level.
I read and hear so much from subs/slaves/fetishists/whatever who are just downright jaded. Its so upsetting reading from jaded subs, almost as much as it is to read from jaded dommes. They don't seem to understand that for some of us, this is real.
I take great care to keep good company, to select those who serve me in our session based on our compatibility, based on whether it will be a mutually fulfilling experience.
Because its my session too. I love sessioning... I love anticipating a certain slave's visit, I love planning, and I love playing; I love the high of the session and the happy calm after.
Its downright insulting for them to insinuate I would even consider a session that I don't enjoy... just the thought cheapens the whole experience for me, and it makes me sad to think that something or someone has led this man to be so jaded.
I've expressed this to other Mistresses, sometimes called "delusional", but that's how I feel.
Years ago I saw what happens when a Mistress spends a long career keeping less than great company... the contempt, the joylessness.
I never want to be that.
I always want to be this happy.
I've been lucky enough in recent years to be surrounded by amazing, like-minded people: slaves who know the joy of serving and Mistresses take great joy in being served.
Ok, I'm done now.
There's about a 70% chance that came out the way I meant it to. For the other 30%, have fun nitpicking.